Gutter #9

Caslon Bold. DIN Next Ultralight. Helvetica Neue Regular. Micron 01, Graphic 1, Brush. Moleskine.

The diminutive jerboa looks as though it were made from left-over spare parts of other animals, but it is nevertheless built for the harsh environments of the Gobi and Sahara deserts. It holds upstanding membership in the Dipodinae, or ‘jumping rodents’ family. They have extraordinary kangaroo-like hind legs (not shown) and have been known to jump up to 7 ft. in height. That could get dicey when you consider they have ears the size of spinnakers. When chased, jerboas can run at up to 16 MPH and jump irrational heights and distances given their 3-inch stature. Needless to say, they’re nearly impossible to catch. Most species of jerboa have excellent hearing (duh) which they use to avoid becoming the prey of nocturnal predators when the bars close.

No one really knows the date of origin of the bar stool—which makes complete sense when you consider it’s most popular function. There was however, a lot of high-fiving the day some genius discovered that four legs were not the requirement for sitting—that manufacturing costs could be reduced by 25% with the invention of the 3-legged stool. (The even cheaper two-legged stool failed at prototyping stage.) Stools were a staple on the American farm as they were used by farmers when they were milking their cows and women while putting on their makeup. In the 1800’s the swivel stool was patented and found its way into the bars under piano players. Using a simple threaded spindle, these modern bar stools had the new function of swiveling and adjusting the height—giving new meaning to 'getting off your high horse' after two martinis.